Patience

They say that prayer is when you talk to God, and meditation is when He talks to you.  I will be the first to admit that I am terrible at meditation.  Stopping my brain from spinning for even a few seconds is laughably difficult for me.  Like any skill you wish to develop, practice is the key to success...so I am making a better effort at spending time quieting my mind, removing distraction, and tuning in to what the Holy Spirit has to say.

This evening as I sat on my balcony, my mind on overdrive as a usual, I asked the question, "what should I write about?"  I am blogging again, and I am so excited!  I am going through all of my old blogs (there are so many!!) and loving that all of this information has been tucked away.  Now, I feel prompted to pull it out and share it.  Problem is that there is so much already written and so much more in my head that I just get lost on where to start!

Enter the answer.

Patience.  What?  My old nemesis?  One of the fruits of the spirit I struggle with daily?  Yep.  That one.  Surely I have written about it already.  I get up, compelled to search for an old blog...nothing.  Nada.  Seriously? 

I suppose I have never written about it, because my life has been a mad rush.  I was born busy.  My parents will tell you that I was crawling out of my crib before I could walk.  I was wandering the neighborhood, just looking for someone to play with, while still in diapers.  I learned to ride a bike before anyone had a chance to put training wheels on.  I was 3.  I totally remember it.  Patience?  It wasn't modeled in my home, nor was it taught. 

There was no time to waste in my life!  I had so much to explore, so much to do!  There were trees to climb and kids to play with.  Later, there were a million books to read, and parties to go to.  I never slowed down.

The problem was that I expected everyone to go at the same speed.  I didn't understand that people weren't wired like me.  Why weren't they curious?  Why weren't they keeping up?  Why didn't they get with my program?  It was well into adulthood that I finally understood... many damaged relationships later...

In my 40's, I was in full blown survival mode.  Living faster than ever to keep up with the demands of single parenthood in an uncertain economy.  Hustle was all I knew.  Thank goodness I knew it well. I pushed and pushed and pushed.  And one day...I didn't need to work so much anymore. 

Not a day goes by that I am not grateful for my ability to make it all work out.  It took it's toll, and God has made it very clear that it is time to learn that PATIENCE is my next big lesson.  I am taking on 2 brand new businesses.  (Because hey, one would be boring)  I am meeting people who move as fast as I do, but I serve those who don't.  Inhale...

My energy will now be directed at learning the art of patience.  I love patient people.  Lord knows, I need them in my circle.  They amaze me with the ability to be still.  I am thinking I won't ever slow down completely, but it definitely has been nice to find a cruising altitude and enjoy the ride.

The apostle Paul mentions the need for patience over and over again.  When I find myself wanting the blessings immediately, I pray that I remember the "wonderful future" He has promised, and wait on His timing.  Talk about an exercise in self discipline!  Leaning not on my understanding, but on His. 

Grateful for the moment I am in, instead of wishing for the next one.  What a concept!  My prayer is that the person who needs to read this, does.  Breathe, pray, be still, and know.  And THEN go!

Ephesians 4:2 Be humble and gentle.  Be patient with each other...